It just dawned on me, as I sit at the computer drinking my morning coffee and trying to wake up, the things I enjoy seemed to have taken a back seat to factors of my life that are necessary.

I make lists in order to make it through my life somewhat organized.  The lists contain bullet statements to remind me of what I need to do once my “stage one” activities take place.

What are the stages that rule my life??

• STAGE ONE: work and sleep; the things that I have to do in order to exist with some level of comfort in this life but leave very little wiggle room for extra activities or accomplishments.  No list required in this stage.

• STAGE TWO: necessary things that can be put off for a little while but not for long.  These items include house cleaning, grocery store visit and going to the dump.  Depending on how hectic work is, this can also be an elective category for a list.  Sometimes if I create a list for this category, there are spaces in time created for an element of creativity but normally STAGE THREE items find their way in.

• STAGE THREE: necessary things that can be put off for a while but not forever.  These things include cleaning fish tanks in the house (we’ve got three), giving dogs hair cuts (again we have three and accomplishing this in a timely manner cuts down on hours of having to chase dog fur balls around the house with a vacuum), weeding the garden and general household organization.  This category also requires a list because I never know when I have an extra window of time available to take care of these things and I have a horrible memory so a list is handy.

• STAGE FOUR: this category contains the things I actually enjoy doing but sadly find their way to the bottom.  Crafting, creating, going to craft stores, putting in a good movie and just finishing a project that was started months ago…writing a blog entry (I’m breaking protocol today because a dog fur ball just went scooting across the hallway floor…)  These items don’t have a list because there’s only about 5% of my time that I can give to them and I only address what will make me happiest at that particular moment.

So, here’s my quandary…life seems to have taken over my creative side.  I’ve tried to make STAGES 1-3 as efficient as possible but I seem to get really tired when I’m done with what needs to be done.  Sort of makes me sad sometimes but I guess that’s better than feeling guilty.  The sad thing is that I have an incredible husband that’s very helpful around the house but there are always lists to be made and crossed off every day.

In a bigger picture, I dream of having my own little shop on Etsy where I can sell my crafts.  Actually I have a shop built but there’s nothing in it.  If for some reason I do ever load any items on Etsy, I don’t think I’d have time to take care of it and keep it updated at this point in time.  God forbid I actually sell anything!  How in the world would I make it to the post office to mail it out?  So, almost in a defeated manner, I’m a forum lurker on Etsy…continuing to dream about a day where I can just create things for hours one end…

Am I the only one?